I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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