Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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