honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
