i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
