I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
