I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Randomize
