do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
