what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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