so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
