On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
