the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Dignity is for republicans.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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