At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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