Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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