OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Randomize
