i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
