I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
this boner is exhausting
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
