just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
