He asked to "fluff my boner.."
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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