Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
