I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
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