So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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