He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
