tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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