so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
