After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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