yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
