You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
