I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
