Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
