She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I want a musical about memes.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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