Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
