just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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