Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Randomize
