TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
