that's an acceptable place to lick
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
