Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
