absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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