no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Randomize
