So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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