When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
