Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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