So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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