You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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