Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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