is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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