and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
