we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
