All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
