The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I licked your asshole in confidence.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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