respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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