Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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