hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
