I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
