You did not just play the dead husband card again.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
