Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
