You really coming over, don't trick.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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